Some Days Are A Waste Of A Shower
Today was a bad day. Every now again I've been having them. Just a shit day of exhaustion from doing practically nothing and a deepening depression. Being essentially unemployed is making me feel completely useless and hollow. It's a little frightening how much of my life was based on work. My very existence for nearly a decade was based on a job. Now that job is gone. I've been trying to fill my suddenly abundant free-time with odd freelance gigs and a recent ill-advised shopping spree (doesn't every unemployed guy deserve a 1080p 46" Samsung Series 5 LCD??), but it really hasn't been working. The depression just keeps getting worse. I need to find a job or a better hobby... or maybe just start drinking more... or maybe start smoking again... fuck. |
posted by esc at 11:09 PM
Comments on "Some Days Are A Waste Of A Shower"
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andrew said ... (12:28 PM, January 30, 2009) :
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Ysabel said ... (9:44 PM, January 31, 2009) :
post a commentWanted to let you know I am following. I know the feeling. I have walked with depression for 25 years, but recently had a major crash. The last six months are a mystery to me - a huge black hole with my mind doing the equivalent of walking through treacle.
Sometimes I find that I cannot keep struggling with the problems, worries and difficulties of life. The depression saps my strength for pushing the boulder up hill anymore. Life feels like a conveyor belt where I am being carried to a small black tunnel. I can't keep running away along the belt. Hope we feel better soon - this illness is evil.
www.strayblackdog.co.uk
If it makes you feel any better (or at least in similar company), I had a SHITTY day as well. Not unemployed or anything (knock on wood) but, nevertheless, same desire to drown the day's shiteousness in an ice cold dirty martini. Or ten. ...ok not ten. That would kill me. Maybe three (I'm a lightweight).
Anyway, I hope things start looking up for you.
ps. Do you perchance use that newfangled LCD television to watch LOST? I have now divided every person I come into contact with in any way into two camps: those who watch LOST, and those who don't. I really hope you're in the latter. If not, then I think I've found your new hobby.